Sunday, October 5, 2014

Most Hated Question

Tonight, my dad asked me, has Magic Johnson been cured of HIV? I just said no. His HIV is just being managed. No elaboration, though I know only 1 person has been cured of HIV. That guy who has undergone a risky bone marrow transplant. And why is he asking me this question? 

Well, I have been living in the closet for more than half my life. Being a discreet closeted homo, I have mastered the art and science of hiding. 

Yes, I'm out to my fellow discreet gay/bi friends and partner, but not to any of my family members, nor to any of my colleagues and straight friends. And this has really affected my relationship with them, most especially with my family. Being in a marrying age, I have been constantly asked  by my parents when I am getting married. To cut the conversation off, I just keep silent. Oftentimes, I even avoid being with them just to avoid this type of awkward conversation. And like many other closeted guys out there, I have long avoided weddings and family reunions... as much as I could. That's what living in a closet is... in a nutshell. And I've learned to be OK with this setup. 

Then came HIV. Of course, I got depressed when I found out. Who wouldn't be? But, a day after diagnosis, while I was on my hospital bed, a thought flashed in. Now that my family knows I'm positive, this means they will stop asking when I am getting married. This made me smile in the midst of despair. A welcome break indeed :)

After several months, I recovered from my AIDS OI's, and things slowly went back to normal. Except one thing... my parents have stopped asking me the awkward question. A small consuelo for this most feared disease. Though it's so shallow and mababaw, a tiny but heavy torn was still taken out. Now, I no longer have to keep distant from my dad.