Yesterday, due to a medical emergency, a family member was rushed to the ER. When I was on my way to the hospital, last year's events, particularly my hospitalization, flashed back. I remember the time when I was being brought to the hospital for my pneumonia. During those times, though my condition was serious enough, I was not as worried, as bothered and as sad as I am now.
Now, it is a different case. It's not me who's in the hospital. It's a loved one. My mom. Then, came a realization. It is truly sadder and more worrisome to have a loved one in the hospital, than to have yourself confined. My OI's then flashed back to me, pneumonia and meningitis. On hind sight, damn, they were pretty serious, especially my CD4 then almost reached a single digit. Now, I just can imagine how my family, partner and friends were feeling while I was in the hospital.
So, I realize, I need to get well and overcome AIDS fast, not just for me, but more importantly for the people who love and care for me. I owe my complete recovery not just to myself, but to them as well.
For the meantime, I pray for my mom's recovery. At the same time, I need to control my emotions, as I don't want my CD4 to plunge.
Note: Written weeks ago.