5 Weeks in the Lockdown

We’re on the 5^th week in the lockdown. I open my FB, and I see memes and tiktoks showing exaggerated reactions when the lockdown was extended.  I open my Twitter. I see alters, complaining about not having sex for weeks. Swearing that once this is over, asses will be wrecked, cocks will be vacuumed like hell, and sperm will explode as Fukushima! I relate totally. 

Yes, it is so damn boring at home. No doubt! But I can cope… easily!

No. I’m no home buddy! Before the lockdown, I’m rarely home. On weekdays, I leave home early to work, and get home late, due to work and workout. On weekends, I wake up early, go out, have lunch out, play badminton, go to the gym, do some naughty stuff, meet friends, drink a bit, etc. etc. Then, I get home really late. For some weekends, I would even realize that I haven’t turned on my TV. So this lockdown has completely turned my life upside down, as most of you. So how do I cope?

Let me rewind siete anos antes (7 years prior).

2013, the year I was diagnosed with HIV – AIDS, stage 4!  I got hospitalized for 1 week, then for 2 weeks, then for 1 month, due to AIDS complications. When I got out of the hospital, my CD4 was still very low, at only 16. My immune system was severely compromised. Prone to any deadly infection. So, to  stay alive, I followed my doctor’s advice -- Stay at Home! Don’t Go Out! Else, you might get sick! Hmmmm… Sounds familiar. 

Year 2020, I’m hearing the same thing. Stay at home. Don’t go out. Else you’ll get sick and possibly die!

And that’s how I cope with the lockdown. Let me go back to my previous post --- Franklin Covey’s Circle of Concern and Circle of Influence. We shouldn’t waste time reacting to concerns we cannot control. Rather, we should focus on things we can control (the circle of influence).

Though I obviously don’t prefer this life in the lockdown, I just maximize what I can do while in the lockdown. 

Now… I sleep more, coz I don’t need to travel to get to work. I can work from home. I got time to clear the clutter at home. I got time to try some recipes on Youtube. I get to bake cookies and cakes. I got enough time to do my home workout program. I get to watch series from Netflix and IWant.  I get to watch BL series from Thailand! I can write blogs again. Etc. etc…

This is like déjà vu. My life 7 years ago repeated. The situation in the world is really bad, no doubt. All cities are locked down, economies in recession. And no one knows when will this virus end. But that's the Circle of Concern, which I don't have any control of. What my Circle of Influence though is staying at home and to stay positive. 

Coronavirus - Why am I scared?

So.... we are in a middle of a pandemic which nobody expected we would experience in our lifetime. And, I'm scared... really scared!

This is now our 4th week in the lockdown. Why the lockdown? Because our healthcare system is so weak. We don’t have enough hospital beds to treat COVID19 patients with severe symptoms. Of course, we all know this already. We’ve been hearing this from the news every single day. But why am I scared?

Let me break it down. COVID19 affects the lungs. It could lead to pneumonia. If you got this complication, it means you will have shortness of breath. It means, it’s difficult to breathe! I know how it feels. I had PCP type of pneumonia 7 years ago as an HIV complication. Man, it’s so damn hard! I know how it feels to have difficulty breathing. Walking from my bed to the toilet was a struggle. When I was hospitalized, my doctor even refrained me from going to the toilet, which was only 3 meters away from my bed. I had to stay on my bed all day, all night. I had to do #1 and #2 on my bed. My doctor didn’t want my lungs and heart to exert so much effort trying to grasp for air. If it tires out, it will just give up. Eating was difficult too, as it made me grasp for air! 

That’s how difficult pneumonia is. And that was not the most severe case yet, because I did not reach a point when I had to be intubated due to its severity. Luckily, I got better after a week or two, and got cured from a potentially deadly infection.

Now, how does a severe pneumonia look like? Let me paint a picture. It’s even harder… a lot harder. I personally saw my parent experienced this. Due to cancer, she got pneumonia. When it got so severe, she was literally out of control, as she tried to grasp for air. Nagwawala na sa hospital bed. I witnessed it personally. That’s the time when the doctor intubated her. That means, naglagay na ng tubo as throat para dun na dumecho ang hangin, galing sa ventilator.

Now, imagine this, if our healthcare system gets overwhelmed due to COVID19, as in the case of Spain and Italy, people who need ventilators will not be given one. Because we just don’t have enough ventilators available. What happened to my parent, that’s what’s gonna happen to these COVID patients. That’s not just a few patients… hundreds. thousands… oh, sorry, it’s tens of thousands! It would even reach a point when doctors would have to choose which patient to give ventilators to. They decide who lives, who dies. Isn’t that apocalyptic? Hope we won’t reach that point.

So, I’m really glad that Duterte (though I’m not a DU30 fan) implemented this lockdown thing early on.  This is the only way to “flatten the curve” for now. And, this will only be successful if we all cooperate.

We can do this. Let’s follow our government. Stay at home. Distancia amigo. For our safety. For the safety of our frontliners. For the safety of my fellow immuno-comprised persons.  And, for the safety of our parents and grandparents. Let's flatten the curve, not to eliminate deaths... it's a given that people will die. But to at least reduce the number of COVID19 deaths.